African American vs African and European hair experiences

I must first of all state that these are my personal views and in no way am I belittling anyone's struggle.

A few months ago I became aware of the natural vs relaxed hair debate and I remember reading out to one of my friends (who happens to be white), the notion that people who relax their hair are trying to be white. And laughing about the absurdity of it all. I remember saying to her, ''no offence but I am not doing my hair to look like you. But if I was, it's not like there is anything wrong with white people.''

What I was yet to realise was how serious this all was for some black people. I have read a lot of blogs since and discovered that the way many African Americans treat this issue is way different to how we look at this in Europe. I have learned that for a good number of African American ladies, hair relaxer is linked to slavery and therefore letting go of relaxer is letting go of that part of their great grandparent's history. On the contrary, in Europe, most of the reasons for going natural stem from personal experiences with relaxer and/or health reasons.

I have followed this website http://madamenoire.com/ and read the comments with increasing outrage at what is acceptable in some parts of society. The site must use the word 'black' in it's titles even more than the daily mail uses the word 'immigrant'. This week, this article had me first in stitches, then in outrage afros-and-white-privilege-why-one-womans-self-discovery-with-a-wig-is-pissing-people-off
The gist of it is a blonde girl goes to a theme party, the theme being fried chicken and wears an afro wig. And the black community is outraged because she should not be allowed to wear a wig as she has not faced the same struggles as 'our people' I do not think I can even use the words 'our people' in London and keep a straight face. I realise the stereotype with the fried chicken. A stereotype that has been encouraged by all black comedians the world over. But oh no, how dare she?
While reading the comments, I got this sinking feeling that I may not be black because everyone spoke of 'a struggle' that we should all know about. With relief I realised that I am still black, but just with a different background.

I realise that I have had it easy as I have never been faced with outright racism. I grew up in Uganda, where it was the norm to be black. When I moved to South Africa for university, I was probably sheltered by living in a university town although I remember that music was considered to be the race divider. So if you listened to pop and house, you may as well have been white, and if you listened to kwaito and RnB then have a pew in the black community. Apart from that, everything seemed hunky dory.
I then moved to London which has to got to be the most racially diverse place in the world, where the race card is almost always a joke in the societies that I hang in, and for this I am now realising I have to be grateful.

So regardless of having the same hair type, our hair story is different depending on what part of the world we are in. We may be facing the same hair journey but the next time you see that article saying that you are a sell out because you have a weave, take it with a pinch of salt.

Age that we relax our hair,our daughters' hair?

Poll on the left!
Having read a lot of blogs from people who have decided to go natural, I realised that my experiences on relaxing hair are totally different.
I made the decision to grow and relax my hair when I was at university.I clearly remember the day I asked my dad to take me to the barbers when I was 6 as I was tired of having my (natural) hair combed. (And the ensuing drama with my mum, Ha!) I had short hair throughout my high school years as I could not be bothered with hair. Given my previous aversion to spending lots of time on my hair, the decision to relax it came naturally. (No pun intended) It just took less time to deal with.
Was it a decision that I agonised about and researched heavily? No.
Should it have been? Yes. 
Do I regret relaxing my hair? Not for a minute.
Will I ever go natural? If there are ever any conclusive findings that hair relaxer when used right is a danger to me, then yes I will think about it.
And yes, I have read Dr Wise's findings and also the fact that she has said there is a suggested link which is in no way the same as a discovered fact. And I am aware that this link supports going natural but it also quite honestly tells the story.
http://www.curlynikki.com/2012/02/hair-relaxers-and-fibroids.html
 What stood out for me in this were 3 things:

• Age of first use
• Frequency of use
• How it is used. Length of time it is left on hair, instructions followed etc.

Of all these things, we really only have control over the last 2.
I decide when to relax my hair and that is usually 3 or 4 times a year.
I ensure that the hair stylist follows all the instructions on the pack, and have never had chemical burn.
What a lot of ladies/girls cannot control though is when they first relax their hair. I personally think it should be at an age when they can make a mature decision which includes reading the research and making an informed decision. What do you think?
Please answer our little poll, top left.

Vote! Please let us know what you think.

Hi,

We at NoScrunchie would like your opinion before we go ahead and make decisions. What would you like to know about a salon before you went in?
Quick survey, 5 minutes or less.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/XJGG2TD

Thanks,

NoScrunchie
for a better salon experience.

An open letter to afro/black hair salons 4

Honesty, is it so hard? 

Dear salons,

When a customer walks in and asks if you can do Rihanna's latest hairstyle, and you have no idea what Rihanna looks like, this is a good time to be honest. 

When a customer walks in and says she wants to do the hairstyle she has ripped out of a magazine, and you have no idea what the grainy picture represents, please be honest. 

When a customer with natural hair comes in and you have only ever worked with natural hair to relax it, please just be honest. 

You get the idea. It is so simple to say, 'I have never tried that before' as then the customer can choose to take an informed risk.

Saying that you can do the hair, and then halfway through making excuses such as, 'but Rihanna is a celebrity and she has 5 stylists' is not going to wash. 

Other known excuses include, 

-it's the wrong hair type for this weave. (You should have seen that at the start)

-her hair is natural, that is not a weave. (same as above)

-her head is smaller than yours/she is prettier than you etc (insert expletives here or not)

This is particularly annoying as this is usually halfway through the day and the customer has wasted their day. (as mentioned in a previous post)
So dear salons, once again. This does not make you look clever, it simply makes you annoying.

Sincerely,
 Customers

Any other excuses or annoying experiences related to this? Let us know. 

NoScrunchie

for a better salon experience

Natural hair, Relaxed hair, Is it even a debate?

I view this whole debate though as another divisive thing that women have to have. From high school, girls split into groups and are always loyal to them for whatever cause.

The various debates as I have seen them through my life:

• The marriage debate. Those who want to and those who don’t.
• The child debate: Those who want children and those who don’t.
• The breastfeeding debate: Breastfeeding mums vs those who can’t or prefer not to.
• Closely followed by the stay at home mums vs working mums. 
• And now the relaxed vs Natural hair debate.

All of these  are valid groups of people with valid views and I think everybody has a choice in the matter which is great.

If you are a member of any social networking group, you have seen how these debates can and do get heated. And that is not because 'everybody' believes with the greatest of conviction, but because somewhere along the way a lot of us  have learned to get on the defensive, and jump to protect our views. 

The Internet also helps by providing a screen behind which people can get away with saying just about anything. 

And this always goes for both camps. From the person comparing people who use relaxers to smokers, to the one who calls people who have natural hair Nazis. Both of them are not having a useful debate. Both are doing the equivalent of hair pulling in school.

But, I am glad that this is being talked about. I am glad that hair product manufacturers are taking this seriously and beginning to provide ample information on their packaging.

I think that that is a start. I am also glad that it has gotten people out there writing and blogging and providing information on our hair care.If we have enough knowledge, (more facts, less name calling and hair pulling), we will eventually make the right decisions for us. 

In my opinion some good has come out of this and more good will come out of it.

But meanwhile, my opinion may be different from yours and as long as I am not oppressing anybody's human rights,can’t we all just be friends? 

Leillah